a mother's guilt

I feel bad when I snip at anyone, lose my temper or am rude. I usually apologize and try and blow it off as exhaustion. But to crush the smile from my sweet child's face rips my heart out and leaves a gaping hole. I know when I've corrected with too much sharpness. Recently I've been good about speaking more softly and always correcting with firmness and an increase in love, and ignoring my anger and unrighteous control. But today I lost it. I lost that battle. I scared my tender child with my beautifully projected voice. The farthest seats in a large arena would've clearly understood the few words I spoke. I don't think the child even knew what exactly they had done. I know they were putting themselves and others in danger, they were ignoring my warnings and pleadings to be patient and use caution. Yet my anger told a different story. The child felt slapped and icy cold. No physical contact was made but the point was made. And even worse I held on to that anger for a time. I sent them away. When the Spirit finally succeeded in softening my heart I called my child by name. I whispered a heart-felt apology, expressed my deep love and then appropriately asked them to listen when I'm speaking and explained their crime. How amazing and forgiving children are! I had already been forgiven and my offense forgotten. I won't easily forget the regret I feel and the forgiveness I received.

Act kindly, speak softly and love unconditionally.

Reasons to smile

I'm an optimistic person. I try and find the blessing in each event and moment. I throw the occasional (or frequent, I can't lie) pity party. BUT I can still find the joy in life. Tonight I'm thinking of a few reasons to smile.

*Healthy body
*I get to teach dance and create something new!
*indoor plumbing
*sweet children who love to snuggle with me
*a handsome hubby who kisses me 4x each night before bed
*family I can laugh with
*cash in my wallet
*chocolate dipped strawberries in my fridge
*a reuben sandwich in my tummy
*Michael Buble
*Fireman Sam tv show (no, its not my favorite to watch. But it is the ONLY show Max will sit and watch in its entirety, allowing me to take a 9 1/2 min shower each morning.)
*House hunting
*Clearance racks
*The Holy Ghost to comfort my troubled heart
*My Savior and Heavenly Father
*our dishwasher
*US postal service
*cars
*sunshine and playing outside
*rain clouds feel like a protective blanket. I know that sounds weird but I love the rain and feel calm even during storms.
*pancakes

Why waste time seeing all that's wrong with the world, instead find a reason to smile! Share yours in a comment if you like :)