I feel bad when I snip at anyone, lose my temper or am rude. I usually apologize and try and blow it off as exhaustion. But to crush the smile from my sweet child's face rips my heart out and leaves a gaping hole. I know when I've corrected with too much sharpness. Recently I've been good about speaking more softly and always correcting with firmness and an increase in love, and ignoring my anger and unrighteous control. But today I lost it. I lost that battle. I scared my tender child with my beautifully projected voice. The farthest seats in a large arena would've clearly understood the few words I spoke. I don't think the child even knew what exactly they had done. I know they were putting themselves and others in danger, they were ignoring my warnings and pleadings to be patient and use caution. Yet my anger told a different story. The child felt slapped and icy cold. No physical contact was made but the point was made. And even worse I held on to that anger for a time. I sent them away. When the Spirit finally succeeded in softening my heart I called my child by name. I whispered a heart-felt apology, expressed my deep love and then appropriately asked them to listen when I'm speaking and explained their crime. How amazing and forgiving children are! I had already been forgiven and my offense forgotten. I won't easily forget the regret I feel and the forgiveness I received.
Act kindly, speak softly and love unconditionally.
Sounds like a scary moment for you, but it also sounds like you're much more careful and aware than you give yourself credit for. You're doing great at the toughest job in the world!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deja! That means a lot. It was a very personal and hard story for me to share. but I was prompted to tell it. Thank you for your kindness to me always.
DeleteThis is so sweet it brought tears to my eyes. You're amazing!
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